Klank and Orbus, Where Are You Now?
by Count Kulalu
Summary: Klank and Orbus just wished to get away from it all. Never did they realize that a technomagical keyano from a certain masked count would take them on an adventure that would change them forever. *Starts off as a Pontoffel Pock parody in the first arc.*
1. Chapter 0:Part 1

**Hey guys!  
>Guess what! Today is my birthday! So as a special treat, I've decided to submit not one, but TWO stories! They are 'Klank and Orbus, Where Are You Now?' and <strong>

**'What if Julie...?'. I know I said I was only going to release one based on the poll, but I figured what the hey, and decided to do this as a special birthday gift from me to you. All you have to do is send me reviews as to whether this is good, how can I improve it, what you liked about it, and what you might like to see. I really need reviews everyone because I am really busy in real life and your reviews inspire me to let my creativity out as they tell me that 'Yes, we care that So-and-So was willing to write this and we hope to see him do more!'. So please, read, review, but most importantly, ENJOY THE SHOW!**

**-Count Kulalu-  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Disclaimer<strong>_**: I don't own Power Ranger/Super Sentai/ Dr. Seuss and/or any and/or all concepts and/or characters. They are copyrighted to their respective owners. If I did own them, I would have the power to release Power Rangers Zeo and Ohranger on DVD and iTunes for purchase. That, and all the other seasons and series in seasonal box sets and season options on iTunes. Don't you wish I was in charge?**_

"_**I do, however, reserve the right to claim Klank and Orbus as my robot minions considering that I hired them after Zeo and Ohranger ended. But I don't own the shows they appear in. **_

_**Just wanted to make that perfectly clear! Enjoy!"**_

_**-Count Kulalu-**_

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><p><span>Chapter 0<span>-Wish, Wish, *Wish*-Part 1

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><p>It was just another day at the fortress of the Royal House of Gadgetry. Nothing important or out of the ordinary was going on. No schemes to takeover worlds were being planned or acted upon. The big plan to conquer Earth was still light-years and centuries from being enacted. So to this race of machines, it was simple a boring day.<p>

Unfortunately, a day when things are simple and boring is a day that brings pain and annoyance to two loyal footmen.

"Faster you bucket of bolts!" shouted the young Prince Buldont. He was riding on the back of Klank as if he was a horse. The poor butler could only comply although he hoped his master would take it easy on him.

"Your majesty, there surely must be better things you could d-"

"I **said** faster! Or do you want to end up like the tin can over there." The prince pointed at a pile of scrap metal that looked like a collapsed erector set. Underneath the pile you could make out the buried form of Orbus in a cage made from the rubble.

"Don't upset him, Klank! Spare yourself the pain!" The poor little guy cried out. Klank's gears wound faster as he decided to hasten his pace in order to save himself from a similar fate. The worst part was knowing that the erector set was brand new-they had to melt the cog soldiers down to make it just a few days ago.

"I'll say! What is the meaning of this?" Klank stopped running to see Empress Hysteria waving a folded fan impatiently. This was not a good sign. "I thought I told you to put Buldont to recharge an hour ago, Klank?"

"Well, your majesty, it was…I mean…" Klank was screwed. He could either tell the Empress that he disobeyed her order to obey Prince Buldont's order to continue playing or he could tell her the truth and risk the wrath from putting the blame on her son. Either way, he wasn't getting out of this unscathed.

"Ah, mom, do I have to recharge? Can't I just get a new power pack when mine depletes?"

"No! A member of the royal house does not simply settle for a power pack." Hysteria lectured her son. "Besides, you are much too young to go long periods without recharge."

"But-"

"No buts! Now off to your recharge station." She pointed the way for him with her fan. The little prince grudgingly obeyed.

"Oh, fine."

"Now as for you two!" She pointed at Klank who was getting Orbus out of the prison. "Clean up this mess!"

"But-" Klank started, but the empress already left before she could hear him. Orbus saw his friend's displeasure and if he had a face not made of metal, would probably give him an understanding frown.

"Makes you wonder what it would be like to work for someone else, right?"

Klank just slowly nodded and got to work. Never did he think what his little friend said would have some major repercussions.

XXXXX

**[At another place and time]**

Count Kulalu was just sitting there on his couch, playing Bayonetta.

"C'mon…take that Fortitudo!" He kept mashing buttons. The halo counter on the screen was going higher and higher. "Heh-heh, yeah, now I almost got enough for-"

He suddenly paused the game. "Why do I have the sudden urge to punch Klank in the face for letting Orbus break the fourth wall? And why do I feel like someone out there is calling me a hypocrite for doing the same?"

The masked count pondered this more as he adjusted his top hat. He simply shrugged his shoulders and continued playing his games, ranking up halos with a certain gunslinger witch. He absentmindedly mashed buttons in one hand while he used the other to pull out a pocket watch.

"Well, it's about time I get this show started." He then saved his game as he finished playing. A quick adjustment of the top hat here, and a minor shift of his collar there, and he looked ready to go.

"It's time for this adventure to get underway…Klank and Orbus!"

XXXXX

**[Back at the Baranoia Fortress…IN SPACE!]**

"I still don't see why we have to tell the pipsqueak a story, Klank." Orbus said from his perch on Klank's shoulder.

Klank tried to get the little guy to understand. "It's like this, Orbus, we tell the prince a story, he'll fall asleep, then we'll get some peace and quiet until the masters tell us to perform some other tasks."

"Yeah, but even then we'll still have to fix the royal viewing screen." Orbus sadly informed.

Klank just patted his head. "Look, after we put his majesty to sleep, we'll just fix the screen and go out for a nice tune up. How does that sound?"

"Sounds good! Could I get the 50 credit treatment?"

"You've earned it, Orbus."

"I better have. I didn't go through that torture for nothing. Nuh-uh!"

XXXXX

It wasn't easy, but after much fuss and whining from the prince, the two butlers finally got him to go into recharge mode. Now all they had to do was fix the viewing screen and they could get a well-deserved rest.

"So what made Bacchus-boss mad this time?" Orbus asked as stood next to the tool box. Klank was doing his best to repair the special cog that showed the Royal House whatever they wanted to see, but it looked like the blast it suffered from was a real doozey.

"Apparently he's been a bit cranky since he found out that we are two weeks behind schedule on the new soldier production line." Klank said as he reset the broken wires together. Just to think, he barely got out of the way of the blast from Bacchus' staff to avoid being the machine blown apart this time.

"Only a bit?" Orbus asked. Klank tried to ignore that quip, but felt that he had something else to say.

"Orbus, do you ever wish that you could just get away from it all?"

"You mean like when you go to your secret place behind-"

"Not like that! I mean…do you ever just wish we could live our lives like we want them to be?"

The little robot tilted his little head in wonder. "You mean…if we were our own bosses?"

"I suppose so…" Klank started only to immediately assure his comrade that he wasn't thinking of committing treason to the empire. "I mean, I will always be loyal to the Baranoia cause…but you can only be kicked around so many times."

Orbus could only agree. He may not have been slammed to the ground like Klank has, but that was more because of his friend taking the hits for him. Had it not been for Klank, he would have been made into spare cogs eons ago. Still, he was given the amount of respect that you would give to a pet, not a loyal member who despite being vertically challenged actually did his part to keep the empire running smoothly. As for all the shenanigans he was put through during Prince Buldont's playtime…if it wasn't for the fact that as a machine he could transfer certain memories from his files, Orbus would have probably gone through the procedure to have a self-destruct feature placed in him. "…Oh, how I wish, wish, *wish* we could get away from it all, even if it was for only a moment."

"Aye! Although, it probably be only a moment compared to all the centuries we'll live." That was all too true. The two of them were not just any sort of machines, but those of the Machine Empire Baranoia. They were beings of the eternal gears. They would never die. Eternity was just a state of existence and what was a lifetime for some was just a moment for them. It seemed that forever wasn't as special to them since they could always be fixed, recharged, and made anew.

All eternity was to the two robot butlers was an existence that was shackled into serving the empire.

"But enough of that kind of thinking for now. Hand me that hammer over there." He had finally made all the proper connections and was now ready to hammer down the covering over the circuitry. Orbus gladly handed him the tool. They were just about done and-

"KLANK! ORBUS!"

Klank smashed through the wiring and pierced the screen on the other side. The Emperor's sudden shout caused him to overexert himself.

"No! Now we have to do it all over again!" Orbus cried out as he stared at the broken screen.

"Oh dear! If Bacchus finds out, we'll-" But before Klank could finish that thought, the screen started to glow with an extremely bright light. Had they not been machines, Klank and Orbus would have been blinded by its brilliance. Still, they were hypnotized and dazed enough to be ignorant of the world around them. They were especially ignorant of a certain machine emperor's call to them.

"KLANK! ORBUS! COME HERE AT ONCE!"

But they didn't. Or rather, they could not for in that flash of brilliant white light they stood there. When the light died down, it left an empty room with neither footman of the Machine Empire in sight.

XXXXX

"Oh, my aching circuits." Klank moaned as he slowly got up.

"Let's not do that again." Orbus groaned as he floated off from his spot on Klank's chest.

"Aye. Never Again." He then took a look around the vast white space they were in. "Now where do you suppose we are?"

As if to answer their questions, the space was suddenly filled with a bright spectrum of colors until a man appeared before the. He was dressed up in a black suit with a square-like white spiral on the shirt. He wore a top hat, but it was his mask that drew the most attention towards himself. It was half black on the left and half white on the right with the alternate color shading in that side's half of the smile and eye. His eternal smile seemed to fit him well because he spoke with a happy an upbeat tone.

"Klank and Orbus, your wish has been heard, and your wish, has been granted!"

(He took off his hat and gave a quick bow.)

_Gentlemen, I am a head representative of the good doing Guardians Of Dimensions._

(He handed them a card that had an emblem of a guardian angel with the letters G. O. D. on it.)

_I have branches from Twilight Town, Angel Grove, Traverse Town, and Hollow Bastion._

(He showed them a star chart, which turned out to be a world chart that was marked with MANY more places.)

_And I put about helping people like you who need our services and you most certainly do!_

(He put a gloved hand in front of his masked face as if he was holding back a laugh.)

Your lifestyle…if you'll permit me…_is simply P.U.!_

(Klank and Orbus bowed their heads in shame because there was no arguing with that.)

But!

(He pointed a finger towards the heavens.)

_You lucky two,_

_I've got a gift just for you,_

_It's a way to get away from it all!_

(A mysterious musical instrument and bench slowly descended down from the white void above. It looked like the cross between an upright piano and a keyboard. It was carefully brought down by two figures that looked possibly related to the mysterious figure in some way. They too wore masks, however, the seemed to be dressed in spandex suits because the one on the left was all black, while the other was all white. To make them appear even stranger, the black one seemed to only have half of the masked man's mask while the white one had the other.)

_**This lucky keyano,**_

_**Not a simple piano,**_

_**Will take you away from it**_

_**Far, far away from it,**_

_**Far, far away from it all!**_

"See here, Mr…" Klank started, only to realize he hadn't received the masked man's name.

"Kulalu" He tipped his hat to the two members of the Machine Empire Baranoia. "Count Kulalu."

"Well, we can't just go off and about at this moment."

"Well, why not?" Kulalu tilted his head in curiosity, however the smile of his mask added to the aura that he knew the answer, but found the excuse humorous.

"Yeah, why not?" Orbus questioned like a child being told he was not old enough to go.

"Orbus, you know His majesty would not permit us to leave with no announcement."

"I bet he wouldn't let you leave at all." He nudged an elbow to the all-black character. "Am I right, Schizo?"

"I'm sure they must get some sort of vacation time." The all-white character stated optimistically.

"**They obviously don't, Phrenia, otherwise we wouldn't be here to pull off a musical number.**" The now named Schizo replied curtly.

"Now, now. No need for you two to fight. We're here for their problem, not yours." Kulalu kindly chided. The count's words must have had serious merit on the two, for they immediately stopped whatever argument they were about to have.

"**Sorry, sir.**" They both replied simultaneously, which oddly sounded like a slightly distorted version of the count's own voice.

"No problem. Just remember why we are here. Speaking of which, it would be helpful if you knew how to use this keyano, no? Now, to use this lovely contraption, just play these simple notes," Kulalu's fingers ran along the keyboard as if he'd done this dozens of times. The moment the little tune (C, C, C, D, D#, E) ended, the Keyano opened up and displayed a great number of different colored buttons. "and voila! You have access to any place in the universe with a touch of a button. Isn't that great?"

Orbus shook in excitement. "Oh! Can we really go anywhere?"

"Anywhere in this world, another world, or maybe nowhere at all." He then pushed a button that was organized into a section of more mundane looking buttons. "Here, I'll just set it to fly around for a bit to demonstrate."

The keyano started to play itself in a jovial tune as the count simply laid down side ways on the bench. It then rose up and started to fly about in wide-spread figure eights. As it flew about, the notes it played would magically trail behind it in a spectrum of colors.

"Now, if you ever find that you need to come back to your home-not sure why, but you never know-then all you have to do is to lift this latch here and twitch this homing pigeon switch." He then lifted a latch on the side of the keyano and out poped a long switch that he simply flicked. The moment he did so the keyono stopped in place and started to play a different tune. The melody of this one was more gentle and soothing and reminded a person of the place one's own home had in their heart. A gentle flock of black and white notes appeared around it, almost like butterflies. It was the right song to play as the keyano gentle settled down in front of the two robots.

"So what do you say? Want to take it for a spin?"

"What's the catch?" Orbus asked.

"No catch. Just make sure that where you go is where you want and be off." His hand waved nonchalantly, but stopped as he realized he forgot to mention one little thing. "Well, there is one little thing. Just a small concession on your part."

"What's that?" Klank cautiously asked. He had expected this to come with a price. Nothing ever came for free, especially when you work under the Royal House of Gadgetry.

"I just need you to sign this sheet here, with the promise that I can count on you to do a favor for me in the future." He held the sheet in front of them with a pen in hand. "Nothing serious, just that I'm basically giving you a non-expense way to go anywhere, so the least you could do is to scratch my back as I have done yours, so-to-speak."

While Orbus nearly flew at the count to give his signature, Klank reached out and grabbed the little droid in midair. "I suppose we have the chance to read this contract before we sign."

"Of course, go right ahead." Kulalu handed them the paper and pen, while sitting back on the bench in anticipation.

Klank looked at the contract carefully, making sure to scan every line no matter how small. As a machine, he could scan for loopholes better that any human ever could. He also had obtained the skills of contract reading after a culmination of doing paper work for the Machine Empire. As far as he could tell, there was nothing detrimental to signing this sheet of paper other than that if he destroyed the keyano, he and Orbus (who be the signatures on this contract) would have to pay of the debt they would accumulate.

"Does everything seem in order?"

"…Aye, it does." Klank said as he finally decided to sign this piece of paper. He would normally use a seal of the Empire next to it-which he always kept on hand in his hand-but Emperor Bacchus was the last one he wanted to know about this. He gave the pen to Orbus, who signed his name too and even made a smiley face with the 'O' in his name. Klank handed the sheet back to Count Kulalu. The masked man took the paper and slipped it into his top hat for safe keeping.

"Now that that formality is out of the way." He got off the bench and gestured towards the keyano. Klank and orbus immediately found themselves seated on the bench thanks to the 'helping hands' of Schizo and Phrenia. "IT's time for you to get far, far away from it all!"

Orbus shook his little arms in excitement. "Oh boy! Where should we go, Klank?"

Klank looked at all of the different buttons in hesitation. There were so many, and he sensed that any of them had an equal chance to be better or worse that where he currently was. He finally decided on one of the greenish colored buttons, but only placed a finger hovering over it as if he needed a more convincing nudge to choose it.

"Oh that's a good one!" Kulalu assured. "Takes you straight to the land of Ooo."

"Really?" Klank pondered. "Well, why not Ooo?"

"Oh! Oh! Can I push it?" Orbus asked. Klank nodded and the little robot floated up and pressed the button. The keyano then started playing an acoustic melody that was calm like the sea breeze. The notes that came from it were a mixture of gold, blue, and green. They floated high above them and started circling around, faster and faster until they suddenly became a portal. As the two robots were busy watching the sight, they realized that the keyano and bench they were on was flying towards it.

"Have fun boys! Enjoy yourselves in Ooo!" The count said as he, Schizo, and Phrenia waved goodbye to them as they flew off into the portal.

"Thank you, kind sirs!" Klank waved to the three.

Orbus waved to them as well. "Thanks again!"

The keyano finally passed through the portal. The portal immediately disappeared behind the the two robots, along with any notion that the three lone occupants in this dimension were overly exuberant.

Instead, they all suddenly took a much more solemn and serious tone as one could see when they spoke to the other.

"Was it all right to get them to sign that piece of psychic paper?" Phrenia asked.

"**Is the goody-goody feeling guilty?**" Schizo mocked.

"No, I just don't like to trick people into doing things like the two of you do." The white one defended. It looked like a violent argument was about to start.

Again, Count Kulalu stopped it from breaking out between the two. "It was necessary. I know it. You both know it. What's done is done."

"**But what is it that we have done?**"

"What could come about from what you plan on doing with them?"

Both had valid points. What was it that Count Kulalu hoped to accomplish from all of this?

The masked count looked up at where there once was a portal and two robots riding a keyano through it. His mask may have a smile on it, but he couldn't have looked much more solemn.

"…I hope that they could be the ones who could do it." He took off his hat and placed it over his heart in hope. "Maybe they could be the ones who could find the right door and save all those whose lives who have been made to be ruined...especially hers."

He placed his hat back on his head as the white space suddenly faded into black. Schizo and Phrenia were nowhere to be found. It was like they were never there. Before it completely faded to black, Kulalu's mask remained in the dark with his final words.

"It may be a madman's hope, but I believe that those two are the ones who can save her."

His mask suddenly and inexplicably became a shape of a black and white chibi doll chained to a heart shaped moon.

"After all, it could be that those who claim to be without hearts…maybe in fact be able to reach out to one who may never got the chance to have one of their own."

And with that said, the realm was completely black as if it was a void in which nothing was ever there at all.

_**(To be continued…)**_

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><p>XXXXX<p>

_**And so, a series of crazy adventures that Klank and Orbus would remember for times to come has begun.**_

_**Will they make new friends?**_

_**Will they face new enemies? **_

_**Will they find love?**_

_**Who knows, but I can be sure that it will probably be awesome. ;)**_

XXXXX


	2. Chapter 0:Part 2

**Disclaimer**_**: I don't own Power Ranger/Super Sentai/ Dr. Seuss and/or any and/or all concepts and/or characters. They are copyrighted to their respective owners. If I did own them, I would have the power to release Power Rangers Zeo and Ohranger on DVD and iTunes for purchase. That, and all the other seasons and series in seasonal box sets and season options on iTunes. Don't you wish I was in charge?**_

"_**I do, however, reserve the right to claim Klank and Orbus as my robot minions considering that I hired them after Zeo and Ohranger ended. But I don't own the shows they appear in. **_

_**Just wanted to make that perfectly clear! Enjoy!"**_

_**-Count Kulalu-**_

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><p><em><strong>Hey everyone!<strong>_

_**CK (Count Kulalu) here! I just wanted to apologize to everyone who may have been waiting for this chapter or any of my other stories. Writers block is a hard thing to get by, especially when it's mixed with discouragement and disenchantment. and as much as I hate to say it, I am sadly feeling a mixture of these things. I played Mass Effect 3 and got to the end, on April 1**__**st**__** of all days! What do I find? The most horrible ending to such a GREAT story! I mean, the list is just too long to name! Then Toonami shows up, and I get a great feeling of nostalgia, only to realize that the whole thing is a sham, too! Then all sorts of things hit me:  
><strong>_

_**The 'NINJA' Turtles are now 'ALIENS'! It's bad enough it's a movie made by Michael "I can't understand a story about two waring alien factions moving their battle to Earth, so I'm gonna make it into a boy and his car story because that's the only way I can understand it because I don't care about pissing off fans" Bay, but now we have to have the TMNT become TANT? They have a theme song! How could he get it wrong?**_

_**Ben 10 is Over! Without Dwayne McDuffie, I can only see it going downhill from here. It doesn't help that I really dislike the new art direction for the next series. Why is it such a downgrade?**_

_**I'm sure that other things come to mind, but I feel discouraged enough.**_

_**I just feel very uninspired. I mean, I still have all of these ideas I wanna do, so I don't really want to quit. At the same time, I don't really feel like I can really write anything since my thoughts apparently don't matter. Media will always be in it for the money and no one will give a DAMN any longer if a story is really good. That's the direction things appear to be going in from my perspective. **_

_**Did you know I had this great idea for an April Fools Special for "Character Confessions"? Well, I was so discouraged, I basically said forget it. What's the point? Who's reading it? Apparently no one, but then again, I didn't exactly delete my story. So I haven't quite given up yet. **_

_**I won't quit. I'll try to post smaller chapter if need be. I am now declaring this story as a prequel of sorts to a new series I will write staring my group. I hope someone out there will appreciate it. I really hope so, because I really need some support out there. It might be the beginning of a dark age in fandom, but I hope to be able to get through it.**_

_**I'm sorry for taking your time up with this, but I just really needed to get this off of my chest. Now without further ado, let us continue this story where we left off and hopefully we can see where we go from here!**_

_**-Count Kulalu-**_

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><p>Chapter 0-Wish, Wish, *Wish*-Part 2<p>

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><p><strong>[The Land of Ooo: Candy Kingdom]<strong>

_Oh welcome to Ooo! Hey, hey!_

_Every day is just like a parade! _

_All the candy people are smiling_

_The good times are not dying_

_All over our kingdom bubbles are flying._

_So welcome to Ooo_

_We hope to meet you_

_Oh hey-oh-ee-ay!_

_Nothing here can be beat_

_For life is nothing but sweet_

_Hey, hey! Oh-ee-ay! Oh-ee-ay!_

_In the Land of Ooo is a Candy Kingdom_

_Whose sidewalks you can eat_

_And everyone who lives in there_

_Is made of something sweet_

_There are many candy people_

_Far too many for to name_

_But if you care to take a dare_

_We'll try it just the same_

_(You sure?)_

_Mr. Cupcake and Starchy_

_Are strong as they can be_

_Pineapple Guy and Peppermint Butler_

_Have musicality_

_About that Peppermint Butler_

_A peculiar type of guy_

_And once a drop of spicy serum_

_Fell into his eye_

_Cinnamon Bun is a lot of fun_

_When he's not falling down_

_Chocoberry and Chet_

_Have icing on their crowns_

_Doctor Ice Cream and Doughnut_

_Will fix you up real well_

_There's even a Nurse Poundcake_

_To keep you feelin' swell_

_Dr. Dextrose showed up once_

_At the Science Barbecue_

_Made a speech then grumbled something_

_And off again he flew_

_Earl of Lemongrab can be a crab_

_He rides a sour horse_

_There's Taffy Girl and Candy Bar Guy_

_And Manfried, of course_

_Colonel Candy Corn and Candy Cane Guy_

_Are not the best seat mates_

_Lollipop Girl and Ice Cream Guy_

_Were once seen on a date_

_Marshmallow Kids_

_Banana Guards_

_Jelly Horse_

_And Gelatin Man_

_Gumdrop Lassies and Ice Cream Lady_

_Royal Tart Toter..._

_Royal Tart Toter_

_Green Gumdrop Dude_

_And a Grape Popsicle Guy..._

_In the Land of Ooo is a Candy Kingdom_

_Whose song is now complete_

_Except for one more Candy Person_

_Who really can't be beat_

_Her best friend is a Rainicorn_

_She rides a royal swan_

_Ruling with a chewy fist_

_It's Princess Bubblegum_

_In the Land of Ooo is a Candy Kingdom_

_In the Land of Ooo is a Candy Kingdom_

Indeed! In the Land of Ooo, there was a Candy Kingdom. It was a sight that would shock the two robots if they had such an emotion. It was an entirely different sight to the two than the environment that they were built in. The skies here appeared cleaner as well did the water and landscape. There were no fires or smokestacks of industry to be found anywhere. Quite a change for two who spent many a day checking factories that ran day and night.

It was the inhabitants themselves that interested them the most. They had no gears or any sort of electronics that inhabited their bodies. Instead, it appeared that they were made entirely out of sugar, which had to be impossible because living beings needed to be made from more than glucose to exist, didn't they?

"Wow, Klank, have you ever seen such a place?" Orbus looked about all the strange sights below them. "The places back at the factories were nothing like this!"

"Aye, it does seem like it has a respectable amount of resources." Leave it to Klank to see what should be a vacation as another means to serve the empire. "Granted, there was that big hole in the planet, no doubt caused by some form of a nuclear strike, but imagine the benefits the empire will receive once we report this to his majes-"

"BORED NOW!" Orbus interrupted. "Forget about work for once, Klank! Just enjoy the fact that we are away from that brat of the Boss!"

"…I guess we don't have to report this right away."

"Good, now just wave to the funny candy people bellow us." Orbus started waving at the Candy People. Klank wondered how the little robot would go about it. This was a first contact situation after all. Normally, Klank would be sent down from a Bara Spaceship and would read a pamphlet (inscribed in Baranese, but spoken in the language of the inhabitants so they would understand) that would declare that the people should surrender peacefully or be wiped out. This would require a greeting that was both appropriate and tactful in order to not insult the inhabitants.

"Hey down there, you sugar-coated freaks! Stay sweet!"

Ah, Orbus. You know how to say the right things in an important situation.

Fortunately, the Candy people couldn't make out what he said from that height, so they just thought he was saying hello.

"Hello up there!"

"Welcome to the Candy Kingdom!"

"Hope you enjoy your time here!"

Klank and Orbus were amazed. No shots fired, or weapons were drawn. The people bellow greeted them with honest enthusiasm.

"Wow! They like us! They really like us!" Orbus cheered.

Klank was still surprised. "Aye…They do!"

"Finally! There is a place where we aren't treated like scrap." Orbus started to randomly press the piano keys in his excitement. "I could probably sing a song right now to celebrate!"

"Aye, I'm sure you co-" Klank was interrupted by the keyano which started shaking uncontrollably. Orbus, in his shock accidently pressed a few more keys which only increased the amount of the keyano's shaking. It didn't take long for Klank to figure out that pressing random notes on the keyano was a bad thing.

"Wait, Orbus! Stop pressing the keys!" But it was too late. The Keyano started sputtering again and then it started to fly out of control. The two robot footmen could only hold on to the bench as it flew out of control.

"AHHH! No More Spinning!" Orbus cried out as they spiraled about throughout the Candy Kingdom.

Left, right, forward, backwards, and sideways. Each turn was just on a dime and still a fast with no sign of slowing down. It was an intense ride that would have shaken the robots to pieces had they not been welded together and bolted. Still, many buildings were given a great deal of holes and many walls were knocked away as the out of control keyano continued its rampage across the kingdom. To put it simply, the keyano charged ahead like a bat out of hell!

"Look out! Out of control keyano!" All the candy people jumped out of the way. Well, all except for one who looked like he wasn't all there to begin with. "GET OUT OF THE WAY, FROSTED PASTRY GUY!"

"Err?" Cinnamon Bun grunted. Before he could even get an inkling as to what was happening (not to put down Cinnamon Bun, but he wasn't exactly the freshest glazed donut in the baker's dozen), he was slammed in the face by the keyano and sent flying. The poor guy landed on the ground so hard that he lost a great deal of his frosting.

The other candy people hurried to Cinnamon Bun. They were shocked at the act of violence they just witnessed.

"They beat up Cinnamon bun!"

"Poor guy didn't have the chance to run!"

"Those two can't be trusted!"

"We must make sure that they get busted!"

"We must report this to her majesty. We have a bunch of mad flying robots on the loose!" One of the people finally decided. A chorus of cheers in agreement rang. "We must take this up to…"

XXXXX

"Princess Bubblegum!"

The pink monarch made of gum had heard the whole account from the candy people. She would not tolerate any one who would dare to lay a hand on one of her citizens. Still, considering the nature of this flying menace, this newly declared enemy could be possibly more dangerous than even the Ice King. A solution on how to deal with them immediately came to her mind. Hopefully, it was one that she wouldn't end up regretting.

"Citizens of Candy Kingdom! After hearing your accounts of this terrible duo on this flying piano…"

"I think I overheard one of them say it was a 'keyano', your majesty." Peppermint Butler informed her.

"Fine then, keyano. As I was saying, after much deliberation, I have made the decision that for the safety of our fair kingdom…we must prepare the goomie gun!"

"HUH!" Everyone gasped. Not once did they have to use the goomie gun on any opponent, not even the Ice King. It was a weapon of absolute necessity. Why to just fire it was to declare war on the person they hit. Still, robots riding on a flying musical instrument did seem like the perfect way to start an invasion on the candy kingdom. (Of course, this was the Land of Ooo.)

And so the royal goomie gun was pulled along by eight strong candy people. The gun itself looked like a regular cannon. That is, if someone decided to make a cannon the size of a pickup truck! Just looking at it made anyone immediately realize that to stand in its range of fire was a very bad thing. As tradition stated, the sight of the goomie gun being moved to its designated spot on the castle tower was made more intimidating by the chant that the candy people recited as they tugged it to its destination.

_Load up the goomie gun_

_Load up the goomie gun_

_Load up the goomie gun_

_Will drive the pest away!_

When the goomie gun was placed on the tower's roof, the candy people adjusted it to get a good firing range. They then moved onto the next step, which was to load it up with its ammo. Unlike cannons that shot out balls of metal, this weapon shot out something different entirely. What they loaded it up with was a sticky substance that possessed many colors. However, the amount of quivering and fizzing it did suggest that this goop was far from being some sort of silly putty.

_Load up the goomie gun_

_Load up the goomie gun_

_Load up the goomie gun_

_Will drive the pest, _

_Will drive the pest, _

_Will drive the pest away!_

As the chant drew to its close, a candy person lit the fuse and then lead the rush to get out of there.

-BOOM!-

The goomie gun launched its payload of different colored globs of goop onto the two unsuspecting robots. They had finally gotten the keyano under control. Now it appeared that they could be potentially shot out of the sky.

"Thank goodness we finally got this thing under control." Orbus said as he settled himself onto Klank's shoulder. He didn't want to be anywhere near the keys to accidentally make it go crazy again.

"Aye. Now we should probably find the one in charge of this place and submit a formal apology." Klaank hoped he could explain their mishap well enough to appease the person in charge of this kingdom. He wanted to at least have one trip where someone didn't try to shoot him. "Hopefully they can accept it so we don't have a major situation on our hands."

As soon as he finished saying that, the globs from the goomie gun started to fly past them. one particular bunch of yellow goop hit the keyano and instantly redid the paintjob into a tacky yellow.

Orbus couldn't help but to quip. "It looks like they don't want to hear it, Klank!"

The keyano started sputtering again, making it appear like it was going to start moving out of control. Instead it did the exact opposite. It stopped completely.

They started to head closer to the ground. Every second was a moment that drew them closer to the final impact. While the two didn't exactly scream in high pitch voices (mostly because they didn't have the vocal settings) the warning systems in the two of them were going haywire. All of their internal sirens were going off louder and lauder the closer they approached their final collision.

"This is the end, friend!" Orbus cried out as he covered his face with his little hands. "We're gonna be a pile of twitching cogs and scraps."

"Twitch…twitch…TWITCH!" A memory immediately came to Klank as he remembered the last safeguard the keyano had. "Twitch the homin' pigeon switch!"

The keyano sputtered as it started to play the song that reminded one of home. It was just barely rising as the notes slowly created a portal to get out of there. The question was whether they could make it?

XXXXX

**[The Machine Empire: Baranoia Fortress]**

Klank's emergency start up sequence was similar to what an organic being would know as "vertigo". That is, to start himself up, all the data in his system had to reorganize itself in a way that was coherent and to provide basic functions to his body such as movement. The logic functions came later. As of right now, he was coherent enough to immediately follow whatever orders he was given to carry out. Just in time, too!

"There you two are!" The two robotic butlers immediately stood up to attention, or in Orbus' case, perched on Klank's shoulder and saluted. King Bacchusmund, or Mondo as he was known by everyone else in the background, came strolling in. as usual, he had more criticisms for Klank and Orbus ready to go. "I've been calling you both for the past fifteen minutes. Now why is my viewing screen still broken? Have you been fooling around with this idiotic instrument this whole time? You have too much work to simply be lying around."

Klank started to say. They had only been gone for fifteen minutes? Surely their king must be mistaken. "But sir-"

"Enough excuses! You know your tasks, now get to them!" King Mondo ordered, lifting his staff at the ready in case Klank hadneed of some other form of motivation.

"…Yes your majesty." Klank bowed.

"We obey." Orbus bowed his head as well.

The two robot butlers went to go perform their daily tasks. However, neither one of them had the same drive to hurry to them like they usually did. In fact, it seemed that they were depressed at the prospect of doing more work.

But such an emotion would mean that they had hearts, which is something that those of the Machine Empire surely lacked.

Right?

XXXXX

Another day filled with work, work, and surprise, more work!

Klank and Orbus felt their gears and joints creaking with weariness. Even after a good oiling, they still felt weary. It was as if the feeling was in their very programming. The rest of the day was almost a blur to them. It wouldn't surprise either if they were on autopilot the whole time. It wouldn't have made a difference. Their daily routine was the same every time.

Serve the needs of the Royal House.

File the royal paperwork.

Serve the needs of the Royal House.

Check on the factories and tell them them to build more soldiers, ships, and weapons faster and stronger when necessary.

Serve the needs of the Royal House.

Make sure Buldont is entertained.

Serve the needs of the Royal House.

Fix any equipment that Emperor Bacchus destroyed in his anger.

Serve the needs of the Royal House.

And make sure whatever else that needs to get done is done.

The two of them found themselves in the room where they left the keyano. None of the other workers dared to touch it, thinking it was one of the Royal House of Gadgetry's newest acquisitions. The yellow 'paint job' that it got from Ooh had long since faded away. Yet, the two robots were just too weary to care. They both just sat back against the keyano, slacked as the broken puppets they were. If they were capable of sighing, this would have been the time to do it.

"Another day of hard work and no thanks."

"Can't get any worse, right?"

"A couple of showoffs, eh? Some smart-alecks, eh?" The two robots turned towards the masked count, of which had appeared out of nowhere. There he was, sitting on top of the keyono, looking down on them. There was no smile on his mask, just a furious frown. "I haven't seen such a crap-out in many a day!"

"But-"

"NO BUTS! Klank! Orbus! G.O.D. has decided to take your keyano away!" Kulalu jumped down and brought his hands to his mouth. He immediately called out to the heavens for his two...other masked compatriots. "SCHIZO! PHERENIA!"

"**Coming, Kulalu!**" The two replied as they slowly descended to stand floating at the keyano's sides. Where they came from, no one knew.

"Take the keyano back to the warehouse." He instructed the two as a straight line was in place of his frown. The two beings immediately grasped the keyano and started haul it off the ground. "This snooky duo deserves no keyano. So back to the warehouse the keyano must go."

"Wait just a minute!" Klank grabbed the bench before it could float away. It started to carry him too. Fortunately it stopped in midair, but only until after the robot butler was a couple of feet from the ground.

"All right. But give me one good reason why I should listen to a couple of machines who would use this keyano as a means of conquering other worlds?" Kulalu crossed his arms. "Or do you think of me as a fool and wouldn't find out what you wanted to tell ol' Mondo?"

"But we can't work for the Baranoia anymore. We gotta get away!" Orbus folded his little hands together. "Oh please give us another chance!"

For a moment, one could swear a perfect grin appeared on the count's mask. However, that expression was hidden from view as Kulalu raised a hand to his 'face' and went into deep thought over this development. Every so often he would raise his hand as if he was going to make a point. Then he would stop himself and continue to mutter incoherently. Finally, he reached a consensus.

"(sigh!) Schizo! Pherenia! Bring it back." The Count commanded with a thumb down motion.

"Look here, Kulalu. According to the rules in the official guardian handbook-"

"I know the rules." Kulalu spread his hands as he interrupted. "But these guys are in a jam."

"**No one gets a second chance!**"

"SHUT UP! I am the one in charge, in case you forgot." Kulalu pointed out with both his words and his finger. The two…whatever-they-were stopped their bickering and set the keyano down. "Klank and Orbus, sit down."

"Klank and Orbus, you two are going bye-bye." He pushed the keys (C, C, C, D, D#, E) and did not look towards the button board. "Let's see, red, orange, yellow, gree-GOLDEROD! Wherever that buttons takes you is where you will be."

Before the two could voice any sort of opinion on the matter, Count Kulalu pressed the button and the keyano immediately broke into a lively tune. It sounded like a jazz song with a futuristic feel to it. Perhaps it was the song one would play in a space bar? Whatever the case, it was pretty catchy. Gold notes started to fly out and forming a portal above the keyano. Once again, Klank and Orbus started heading toward it without a clue about what they would find.

"Goodbye! Thanks again, Mr. Kulalu!" Orbus waved cherrfully, glad he was going anywhere but here.

Klank wished he could act the same, but for some reason he seem to be suffering a glitch sensation due to Kulalu mentioning how he was considering using the keyano for the good of the empire.

'Could this be what organics consider…guilt?' He stored those thoughts into his memory banks for later. He ended up saying a simple farewell to the Count for his act of kindness. "Goodbye!"

The keyano finally passed through the portal. The portal immediately disappeared behind the two robots once again, leaving the three masked individuals alone to themselves.

"Hey Schizo."

"**Yeah?**"

"Five will get you ten, they'll screw the whole thing up again."

To hear that coming from Phrenia really surprised Schizo. "**And they say you're the positive one.**"

Phrenia just crossed his arms and huffed. "Well you wouldn't bet that they would come out of this alive."

"**Touché.**"

"Oh lighten up." Kulalu said with a snap of his fingers. A massive gate appeared behind him. It looked like it was carved out of the metal statue of a hooded figure with a mask that depicted two crosses for eyes and its tongue sticking out. "We should probably get going before Ol' Mondo gets a whiff of us."

"**Fine.**" They said together.

The massive gates opened into a room that was empty, possibly the dimension that they first met Klank and Orbus in. while the two enter it without any question, Count Kulalu stopped for a moment and looked back at the last spot that he saw the two robots leave from.

"Everything is going as it should." The smile on his mask seemed to widen. "Still, a bit of a bigger push might bring things along faster. The princess needs saving from the slimy monster, and I've sent a butler to free her from his clammy clutches. Hope she's your type Klank."

A refined butler and a robot at that falling in love! He couldn't help but to guffaw at the thought.

A thought made especially funny with the thought of the true form of the female that in some worlds is known as 'Mashin Jū Tsukai Kerisu'.

_**(To be continued…)**_

* * *

><p>XXXXX<p>

_**And so, it looks like Klank and Orbus are heading to another place.**_

_**Will they have better luck there?**_

_**Will end up starting another mishap that gets them shot at? **_

_**And what is it about this 'Mashin Jū Tsukai Kerisu' that has our infamous/famous Count Kulalu snickering in the background?**_

_**Who knows, but I can be sure that it will probably be something that might get a silly grin from you, too. ;)**_

XXXXX


	3. IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE 8213

**IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE 8/2/13**

Hey guys,

It's been a while, hasn't it? Well, some stuff has been happening in my life that just made it very difficult to get back to writing fics. Besides being in a great deal of classes that involve assigned writing that I must focus on, there have been other things that I've been going through. So to quickly give you an idea, here are three things that have kept me from posting things.  
>1. Ben 10 is dead.<p>

2. Life is given priority over fantasy.

3. Depression hurts.

That third one might be too blunt to say, but I rather not go into too much about it, due to the darker side of the net. Rest assured, I take life one day at a time and am not going through it as badly as I was in the beginning. That is all I will say on the matter.

Anyways, I am not sure if I should stick around as Count Kulalu. I wanted to do so much with the character, but the problem is that I ended up not becoming comfortable enough to put the character out there. OCs are considered taboo, and with what I wanted to do, I would have been undoubtedly put further under the rug. So I felt too intimidated to continue things like "Klank and Orbus, Where Are You Now?" and "Character Confessions at the Krazy Kulalu". As for my Ben 10 fics, well, see #1 and you'll find that while I like reading fics of the genre (especially from writers like MissLevinLover and Bigby the Big Bad Wolf) I don't think I feel inspired enough to write them myself anymore.

Yet, I do not want to just dispose of these stories. I may find a way to continue them. I also do not want to erase what maybe a very very number of readers may have enjoyed. So, I will not simply delete them, but should I give them to others who may want them?

Should Count Kulalu be gone, and I become someone else? Someone who starts fresh? Or is there something I can do to stay Kulalu and just try to show random bits of stories that I would like to see here? Any answers?

Also, I would like to try my hand at Beta Reading, for I feel if I can't make my own fanfics (I can still write, thank you very much), then I might be able to help out others if given the chance.


End file.
